Babies May Cry
by nicola-235
Summary: Trish and Dante's new mission? Parenthood.
1. Pregnant?

It was that fucking clock that was driving Dante insane_. Tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc…_ That cliché. He hated clichés. Without thinking, Dante whipped out Ebony & Ivory, giving the clock the medicine it needed: Two bullets to the battery. Though, that action did cause everyone else in the Hospital's waiting room to snap their eyes in his direction in alarm. " Got a problem, or were you just admiring the hair?" His two metallic friends were hidden behind his 'cape' in an instant, tucked securely in his belt.

How long does it take to get this sort of thing done, anyway?

_ Tic-toc, tic... toc… tic-toc… tic-toc, tic-toc…_

" Oh, _Hell no_."

Trish rubbed her sweaty, clammy palms together. She hadn't been feeling that well for a few weeks, and both her and Dante had suspicions… Just not conclusions, in case of false hope. After all, the 'Legendary Dark Knight of Sparda'—he liked to be called that in bed—wanted a son. Badly. She knew that the moment they had gotten together (he refused condoms, which was another hint).

Not just any kid. No. A _son_. He told her, " You damn well better give me one, what would I do with a daughter, anyway? I'm not pampering no brat." He slept on the couch that night.

She knew she was, but Dante had told her to get tested nevertheless. Which was why she was here, on a table, her legs spread, a cold metal clavicle prying her apart and Doctors' hands between her legs; while the doctor did just that—pry. He was worse then Dante.

She felt a sharp pinch with a hiss—Wait. Was that gunfire? She told Dante to leave the guns at home, but no… Egoist.

" Congratulations. Welcome to parenthood." She felt his hands loosen themselves, the clavicle following; then the _snap _of his gloves being removed and thrown into the garbage.

There was no way she was going to say 'Thank you.'

"TrishTrishTrish…" Dante whined as she exited, an elderly nurse pulling on his ear with a frown.

"…" All she could do was lift her brows, eyes raising to where the smoking clock, than back to her mate's eyes. "… What?"

" Make her _let go!" _His voice was not commanding, but in a whining, pleading manner. She'd hear that every night, too…

" Only if you apologize and pay for the clock." She was surprised he wasn't harassing her about the results yet—But on the other hand, the nurse was ripping his ear off.

" But…"

Good Devil, she was already a mother.

Trish had never seen a pregnant demon, until she herself was one. Now… There are differences between Demon pregnancies and Human ones.

For instance, while Human with-child mothers yell, " I'm going to kill you for this!" Jurn labor, they don't actually try to cut the father's head off. Demons, on the other hand, do. Humans have odd cravings while laden with a baby… Ice cream, bananas, pickles, etc. So do demons…For bats, liver, blood… Mostly things with high protein and iron. So, Daddy Dante was running everywhere to attain the delicacies for his pregnant mate, waiting on any beck, whim or call she may have for him. Just not ones like, " Go jump off a bridge in the Seventh layer of Hell!" Which he got from time to time. And all for a, " I'm going to fucking kill you!" When the 'Big Day' came. Hmph. Though, like a loyal lost pup, Dante kept holding her hand, probably in more pain than she was with the amount of jolts she was sending into his body, from her fingertips through his.

Eventually, however, they had kicked him out—probably so she would stop getting up and try to go choke him, but also because she needed to concentrate since 'she was dilating.' He was in the waiting room for _ten hours_ before he was allowed to go in.

Trish, however exhausted, was smiling and holding a little 'Angel'—Well, Demon, but—In her arms. Hesitantly, remembering the pain he had brought him, he edged over to her and his child.

" Is it a…" He started, then stopped in alarm. There was another tiny baby in her other arm, its eyes closed while it sucked on its thumb. He could have fainted right there—from what… Pride?

" Twins…" She said, softly, her voice taken with fatigue. But she was happy. And alive. Healthy, even. That was all that mattered as he took the twins from her, cautiously from her—only to nearly faint again.

Twin _girls!_

While he stood there in shock, he could hear Trish's gentle laughter sooth his ears, going on for a long, long time. Girls…

" Girls, huh?" He smiled, " I can live with girls." He poked their little dimples, while they grinned up at him—showing off fangs, to his surprise, and soon he started to join in laughter with Trish.

It was perfect.

Demon babies are always born with red eyes first, equivalent to how Human babies are born with lush blue hues. However, Dante's children, their eyes faded from red, to the same blue he and his brother held. Their eyes were large and sparkling, just like his was—though he wouldn't admit it, 'cause he'd sound like a fairy.

Both had shining platinum hair, a proud trait of the Sparda Lineage. And… Maybe it was just Dante being 'Maternal,' but they were beautiful, just like Trish. And at six months, they were already speaking full sentences, were toilet-trained, electrocuting, setting the house on fire—And generally just taking after Dante.

" Mundus is gonna be surprised… No son, but double the firepower, baby." He grinned, hands in the water as he washed the younger twin, Eva.

" He might wet his pants laughing, though." Trish added, her hands in the bathwater as well, shampooing the elder twin, Lillith. It was hard to set them apart, so just like Dante's mother had done—(Eva being her namesake, obviously)—they dressed them according to color. Eva had red like her Daddy, where Lillith had purple—Trish said she was too young to go Gothic.

" Yeah… If he wears any." Dante's teeth slammed together in surprise, a shock running up his spine as Eva made volts simmer into the water, Trish pulling Lillith free before she could get hurt.

"… I love you too, Eva." He took his hands out of the water, falling onto his back on the floor. The younger of the two was laughing at him, that adorable baby giggle, splashing at him from her standpoint in the tub.

Parenthood. Dante grinned, splashing back slightly once he had gotten up. They were little Hellions—and what did you expect, saints?—But they were _his_ little Hellions.


	2. :D

Now, Trish learned very quickly that she should have never agreed to breastfeed her and Dante's children. They were born with _fangs_, if that wasn't indication enough. But Sir Dante wouldn't have it any other way, and when Trish tried to secretly feed the twins through a bottle, they swallowed the plastic cap and started to choke!

After that, she put up with breastfeeding, at least until they were six-months-old. But she had the scars all along her nipples to prove how much it hurt—as if Humans can complain! And she would always have to dig her nail into the pink nubs, drawing blood for Eva and Lillith; since Devils need blood in their diet at a young stage like this.

Though, the one good part about it was watching Dante mope on the other side of the room as his children attached themselves to Trish's chest, sucking away. The jealousy probably spiked the room up a few degrees, if it wasn't hot enough—Trish would always turn it up, since she liked the heat, and it's no wonder, they were all 'spawned' in Hell if you look in the early roots of their ancestors.

When they reached six months, they were big as normal two-year-old humans, and would often run over to Dante and demand he take them with him on hunts. He probably would've, too, if Trish didn't give him _the_ look. Yes, _the_ look. It was the one thing Dante feared—and that included Mundus. And maybe diaper-changing. Though thank god they were toilet-trained by now.

As much as Dante berated Trish for a son—she refused until the twins got older. It was bad enough having ¾ Devil babies running around electrifying people and setting the house on fire when their backs were turned; and these were girls—think of how bad two little _boys_ would've been.

Though as Trish had pointed out, girls may be worse. Think of all the little Demon and Devil boys—maybe even some girls? —Going after their 'skirts,' though they would probably set fire to such a horrendous outfit. But, Dante had a plan for such a time. And it was called Alastor. Trish said they'd hate him forever, but he swatted aside the comment with a snort.

Eva popped out of nowhere, giving him an innocent smile while she hid something behind her back. Dante blinked and looked down at her, his eyes formerly glued to the television. " Do you have something for Daddy?" The question earned a grin, fangs and all.

Eva took the water-gun out from behind her, spraying at Dante's eyes—and it was filled with Holy Water. Normally this would not affect him so, since he was part Human—but when she sprayed it into a direct link to his bloodstream, he started screaming and dancing around, itching at his eyes as if to pull the substance out.

Eva hid the evidence under the couch and ran away, Trish running down to her mate's screams.

Dante was blind for a whole month. Eva was grounded from raw meat for three.

Though Eva had learned her lesson, Lillith didn't know, and therefore… Put a whole bottle of the substance in Dante's beer that night. In result, he couldn't talk for days, and whenever he _tried_, he would spit fire all over the house. Trish scolded him for ruin her curtains, being sulky for the next few days.

It was only then Dante and Trish began to wonder where they were getting the Holy Water. It turns out they had learned to pick locks, and had been going into their fathers' trunk of Demonic items. From then on, Dante had to put wards around it so it shocked them every time they tried. Trish warned them, one more time, and they would be baptized. That stopped them flat in their tracks, Dante not even needing the ward.

But the worst part was when Dante only realized he had no Holy Water left while fighting a horde of angry Demons.

If this was bad, just wait until they were teenagers.


	3. Virgin?

"… Baby-sit? You want me to what?" The pure shock in his twin's voice, which rarely gave any hint of emotion off, made Dante grin from across the table.

" Trish and I are leaving for a few days on a mission. I need you to watch over Lilly and Eva." 'Lilly' had quickly become Lillian's nickname in the following months, when they spoke more and more often.

" Can't they watch themselves?" Vergil's hand when to his temple, of course Dante would draw the favor he owed to him in the worst way possible. He'd rather have fifty Arkham's to deal with rather then two ¾ devil babies.

" Vergil… They're five." He slowly raised his brows, wondering what Vergil's idea of 'children' was. " Not to mention, Trish would electrify my ass." He had to admit—he wasn't really afraid of anything, he didn't have a phobia or something like that; but Trish did scare the shit out of him at times. She got this look in her eye… Like a lion waiting to strike on an antelope.

" So? We were left alone at that age." He pointed out, his arms crossed over his chest.

" We didn't have anyone, and when we were alone, we almost killed each other countless times with those stupid dares." Dante snorted at the pure stupidity of the memory.

" How was I to know breaking into a bank would get you shot? It's not like it hurt you any, at any rate."

" Ha. Ha. You owe me this." The countless times Dante had saved him weighed with the countless times he had failed too; but in the end, Vergil did owe him for still accepting him after everything that happened in Temen-Ni-Gru. Mundus didn't count. It wasn't his choice. Dante understood that, at least.

"… I think this is pushing the limit." Vergil really didn't want to have any kids on his hands. It was okay if he visited for an hour or two—and they were bad enough then—but three days? Not even the Devil himself—pun intended—could rise up to this challenge.

" Come on, bro…"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vergil sat on the couch, his two nieces on either of his sides, watching some show called 'Barney,' which seemed to be some large, purple dinosaur with down-syndrome. He had never wanted to kill himself so badly.

" Uncle Virgin…" Eva started, shaking his arm.

"… It's Vergil."

" Uncle Virgin, I'm hungry." Lillian shook his other arm, reading her twin's thoughts, quite literally with the dark arts they possessed.

" I just made breakfast." How much could these tiny things eat, anyway? So far they seemed to consume more then him on a larger, much large scale.

" But…" They both climbed onto him, looking up with large, watery blue eyes, as deep and clear as lakes. They were giving him that pouty, innocent, adorable look. But they didn't know that Vergil had no soft spots. Not when it came to little brats of his infamous brother, anyway.

" I said no." 

They started crying, almost like a chorus, their wails so tight together; Vergil was pretty sure Dante and Trish could hear it from wherever they were. Hopefully they'd come home. Then again, he was positive that Dante did this just to annoy the Hell out of him. 

"… Fine." They stopped instantly at his agreeable tone, wiping their eyes. They were like banshees, for Hell's sake. Getting up, he went back over to the kitchen, rummaging through what little food they had left. Two days into the job, not much food was left remaining; considering the twins were bottomless pits; following their father in that said department.

He came back with milk and cookies, though Trish said not to give them too much sugar—and nearly dropped all the food. How did the TV _break_ in the amount of time he'd been gone? How did Dante live? He was _never_ going to have kids—and how were their hands prints on the walls—what had they used—where were they!

In almost a maternal sense of frenzy to find his nieces, Vergil started to raid the house. Not just that, but he didn't want to be castrated by Trish when he lost their chi--

They had taken Alastor and Rebellion off Dante's wall. There was blood everywhere. Yet, somehow, they were both okay. Probably due to the fact that they could not scar or wound seriously with the devil blood in their veins.

"… I'm _not _cleaning this up."

But he did, when he realized that Trish and Dante would be home in another twelve hours.


	4. Continue?

I've taken a long, long, _long _break from writing; and I think it's time for me to get off of my lazy, author ass and start writing again. So I'm wondering if anyone wants me to bother continuing this? Pray tell; leave a review or a note. Thanks.

(Partially I want to continue this due to the fact that I really –am- lazy—as if I want to come up with new ideas for fics.)


End file.
